It's not a well known fact but I do research for a professor

It sound like I'm going above and beyond but really I just didn't want to take analytical chemistry and research will take the place of it.

While waiting for a gel to run, my research partner and I were discussing life.

We were both talking about how tired we were and I made the comment "I've been getting enough sleep and I haven't been doing THAT much work"

Then she called it

"This is our fifth year, we've been doing this too long and we are tired"

Its true. This is my 9th semester and I'm really really tired.

And worse than that there's a big part of me that doesn't care about school anymore.

But then that little voice in my head pops up and reminds me that I want to go to grad school and it's too early in the game to give up. But I really want to nap. For a week.

This leads me to my next discussion. 

Because I want to go to grad school I have to take the dreaded GRE. 

I bought one of these books for studying for it and almost cried. Apparently I'm supposed to know what  erudite, prodigal, improvident, fervid, vehement, assuage, etc mean.

And their synonyms.

When was I supposed to hear this in classes full of biological terms, named arbitrarily by some researcher in a lab somewhere sometimes based on latin words (that no one understands anymore)?

The practice tests aren't that bad.

Everyone tells me that it's super easy.

But it can greatly change what my LIFE looks like this time next year.

On both hands I will be married (yay) this time next year.

On one hand I will be entering my second semester of grad school

or I could be finding my first job!

Back to full circle. I am tired. I'm kind of over school. But I was NOT ready to be making these tough life decisions and working on myself this time last year or even last semester.

I think I would be lost if I had graduated in May.

I would have never found out about this awesome program (that I'm afraid to really talk about because I'm afraid to jinx myself if I get too excited).

So for now I'm going to assume it was all fate.

I'm going to BEAST the GRE.

Then turn in my applications.

And go get my masters!

and if not I will be okay. I'll still marry my best friend.

and God willing still end up exactly where I'm supposed to be.

(I made one of those signature things. Proud of myself)